Fell on Black Days

        I woke up and felt..... well I don't know what exactly I felt. I woke up and felt.....I don't know this feeling. This feeling is something I never felt before, and I thought I knew what I feel all the time, but this is new. What I feel is new but similar to how lazy I can feel. I don't feel like going to work, I don't feel like getting breakfast, I don't even feel like getting out of bed. My phone rings but I don't even bother paying attention to it, I just want to know what exactly I'm feeling. I don't get what I'm feeling or why. Maybe it's because a week ago I got denied a new job that I wanted, so I can't quit this job that I hated for a while. Maybe it's cause I isolated myself from my friend group cause I thought I was letting them down. Maybe it's cause I lack confidence in trying to get the job that I want, that everything I do is a half-assed attempt to stand out. Maybe it's cause I'm too shy to tell a girl how I feel, only for them to get with someone else. But all of that happened months ago, this feeling has gotta be something else. I mean yesterday I was feeling completely fine, now all of a sudden, I just have this new feeling. Actually, I think I know what it is now.... huh, now it's not really new, I just remember it now.